I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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