yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize