Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
