We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
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On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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