dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We need to get me chipped asap
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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