So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
