God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize