do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
