worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
