I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
