I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
