i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
