My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
