Where is the hickey?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
