if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize