After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
