Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
