Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
