We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
