Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
