Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
