You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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