Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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