i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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