so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
