so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
