then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
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