I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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