She is in my trunk
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
