Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize