i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
