just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
