do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
