God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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