I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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