"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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