going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
