One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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