i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
my shit smells like andre
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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