I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I want her autograph on my taint
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think your dad took our porno
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
