I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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