I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Randomize
