dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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