i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
