I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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