bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm really busy with my period
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