Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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