I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
How external is "for external use only"?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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