why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
