Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
