In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
