he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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