btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
