Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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