i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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