why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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