Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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