I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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