god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize