I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
