Buhtt sex?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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