So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
