what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
