I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
