yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
