i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
