if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
